Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
