Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
