problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
