I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
