I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize