How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
