yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
