sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's rum buckets o'clock
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
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