i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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