why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
