you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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