I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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