69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
