you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
