So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
