i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
