I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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