i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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