i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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