i permit you to call me
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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