Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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