i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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