So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
