we have officially mastered the walk of shame
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
