I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
