Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Your dad touched me again.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
