one two three fourrrrnication!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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