Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
