I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
