Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize