OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
