just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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