so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
PANTIES FOUND
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
