why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
