So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My feet surprised me
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