It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This baby is an asshole
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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