I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
