he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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