It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
