i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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