Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
