he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
