maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize