Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my sisters under your porch take her home
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
