I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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