I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
