Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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