I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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