in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
