there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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