I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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