Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
