So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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