I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
