I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
