i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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