Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.

(630): View more from Illinois

if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.

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(951): View more from California

I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins

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(229): View more from Georgia

please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(339): View more from Massachusetts

When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave

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(614): View more from Ohio

Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is

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(469): View more from Texas

I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.

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(530): View more from California

What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.

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