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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?

  Fav 29 996 3777

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I could make treat bags

  Fav 104 6584 1057

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...

  Fav 21 6675 1042

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here

  Fav 12 6275 1042

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.

  Fav 12 10617 1670

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• (207): View more from Maine

  At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.

  Fav 9 2400 1104

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.

  Fav 2 1396 643

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• (607): View more from New York

  just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out

  Fav 5 1190 851

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• (209): View more from California

  Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING

  Fav 5 1326 766

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So all in all, a good night.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  My dad just said "fuck circus"

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work

  Fav 2 353 215

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS

  Fav 2 274 185

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