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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.

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• (585): View more from New York

  She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.

  (585): View more from New York

  Aren't divorce parties fun?

  (1-585): View more from New York

  You and I have very different definitions of fun.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (646): View more from New York

  So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.

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• (916): View more from California

  I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

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