What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
