I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
