Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
