Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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