i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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