dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
