He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
