awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
